justin_guber - @ 20six.co.uk

All Apologies...

...was a pretty kick-ass song.

It looks like I owe some apologies to some people across the pond. Well, across many ponds. Actually, they're not ponds, they're seas. Or oceans. Are they called seas or oceans? What's the difference? Am I rambling and going off point? I think so.

Anyway, in my last post I may or may not have offended some of the readers in the States and Canada, namely shadowboxer and menace, by stating something about not caring about the other readers from other countries due to a time zone calculation complication on my part. So I'd like to apologize from the bottom of my heart for any wrongful actions on my part which may have offended you and possibly turn you off from reading this on-line drivel.

...then again, if you do read my blog, you'd half expect something like that wouldn't you? I mean, you know it's all in good fun, right? Right? Is the little African kid posting comments of pain and suffering? No. You know why? Because no-one in Africa reads this, but that's not the point. In fact, I don't really have a point. I'm just typing pointless crap trying not to sound like an apologetic monkey-poop-features.

Come on! You can take a joke, right?! Why else do you click on this site? To read beautifully constructed prose that would make Oscar Wilde a hetero? Of course not! You're here to read about some weirdo from Malaysia with an odd fixation of furry mammals violently inserted into holes and crevices of the human anatomy more fit for expelling harmful substances.

But I am sorry. Really. At least it's good to find out about another reader (menace) out there who discovered this blog of bollocks and reads it on a weekly basis. Although you probably don't anymore after my vicious piece of libel and slander.

Slander. Sounds like a large lizard.

3.1.05 11:03

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Thing

4.1.05 04:08

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Bobbing for Apples.

See, I had this huge post written. I spent all morning writing it, about all the cool stuff I'm diggin' right about now: movies, music, comics, etc. Then what happens? Fuckin' mac crashes. And they say it's more trustworthy than a PC. Arse. It even crashed whilst I was typing this, but I kept backing up what I was typing in notepad. Hah.

So of trying to write all that shit again, I'm just putting a one liner with the pic, which you can click to take you wherever you want to go:

MOVIE TRAILERS

Sin City
Do I even have to say anything about this?

Charlie & the Chocolate Factory
Tim Burton. Johnny Depp. Subversive weirdness. Oompa loompas.

COMIC BOOKS

Bear:Immortal
Strange. Subversive. Violent. Fun. And it has Action Beaver.

Dogwitch
Hot goth chick dabbles in witchcraft with talking stuffed dog and beheaded doll. With black magic treacle.

MUSIC

Dresden Dolls
First band that I found from MySpace that I actually checked out and went to buy the album, which is wonderful. Piano-punk-goth-cabaret-rock-I-haven't-got-a-clue.

Anxiety Whispers
When I went to see the Rock City Morgue show at Sydney on New Years Eve, these guys played third, and they were absolutely balls-to-the-wall rockin'.

4.1.05 07:58

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In the interest of science...

...I shall recite the entire Webster's dictionary backwards on a pedestal. Or not.

I know I said I'd write about the Rock City Morgue gig, but there really wasn't much happening. Not that it was crap. It was quite fun. The first band, Zeitgeist, blew me away. This one opening band could kick any of the metal bands asses who headline gigs here. Then Sweet Decay, who weren't really my cup of tea but they had a female dancer in a nurse outfit who was pretty hot, albeit looking quite uncomfortable. Then Anxiety Whispers rocked the catskills (and I've linked them below). Then I went back to pack 'cos we were leaving the next day.

The trip back was fine. Played Street Fighter II n' Tetris on the plane's video games system. Listened to some stand-up comedy (Steve Martin's 'Wild & Crazy Guy' doesn't really translate well on audio) and watched Collateral and Without a Paddle. Collateral good. Without a Padel so-so.

Got home, met up with Jay, went to bed, woke up, and decided as a new years resolution to work out and get in shape. I got up and immediately started doing crunches, followed by weights.

Now, understand that I don't do weights. I have no idea about weights. I just grabbed whatever weights I had (they were yellow, if that makes a difference) and did 50 in one shot.

Then I met up with my girlfriend, watched Oceans 12 (really dissapointing), watched Swingers (memories...), did some other stuff, sent my girlfriend back, found out I had to start work on Monday. When I woke up on Monday, that's when the pain kicked in.

My arms were in a permanent cramp. I could not fully extend and stretch them and spent the rest of the day walking around like R2D2. That's when Eddy told me I was doing the weights all wrong. Ah... Add to that the sudden pile of work that landed on my desk, which isn't what you want on your first day back on the new year, and stayed in the office till 9pm. Then I went to meet Rauf (who is now on the cover of Vida for his writing, which I am quite proud and jealous of at the same time) and went rehearsing with Y2k. At night, I couldn't sleep for the pain.

The arms still ache. I do not like this 'getting fit' business.

4.1.05 10:00

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The sun is slowly setting behind a cloud, leaving an orange hew silhouetting the tall construction crane outside the window. My table is a mass of mess, papers of doodles and sketches, notes and job requisitions, a very, very shit toy gun I bought from 7-11, a half-full bottle of vanilla coke that has been since 2004 and of course, comic books. Work has been stopping and starting all day and whilst I wait for the final word as to what the fuck I'm supposed to be doing, I read.

So, as the others click-clack-click and scritch-scratch-scritch I flip-flap-flip the pages of Kevin Smith's Daredevil and Alan Moore's Swamp Thing. Marvellous reads. Simply incredible. I like-y. Tonight I have rehearsals with Y2k for our trip to Kedah. Before that I'm meeting my girlfriend and some other friends because one of them has something very important to tell us all.

Now, some of you may be wondering why I'm letting you know all this. The answer is simple: it's so that stalkers can track my every whereabouts! Come on, you manically-obsessed members of the ill-society! Flash us your nips!

Of course, that would all make sense if I had stalkers. I do get people I've never met sms-ing me a lot. Well, not a lot. A couple times. Twice. But they were both female, so does that not raise my status of hulking man-god?

No, of course it doesn't. I'm fantasizing. Mmmm... that was lovely. What shall I fantasize about now?

Out-y belly buttons!

Look at them! If you flick them, will they jiggle?! Is there a lint problem similar to in-y's? Hmmm... curiosity. Like the cat. The small one. It is furry and so are its balls.

I'm sorry, I've got a headache. It's not my fault. I'm possessed by peanut butter.

5.1.05 11:54

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Snootchie-Bootchies!

Test footage for the upcoming Clerks Animated Movie. Noonch.

5.1.05 12:07

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Thet Unberable Lightness of Being...

...Rather Ill of Health.

My head has continously been getting worse as the days go by. My eyes are sore. I dropped my contacts down the sink this morning, and my arms are still achy. Are these migraines my brain is experiencing? My chest hurts too. And my tummy. And the last toe on my left foot.

I don't like this feeling. I especially don't like feeling like this when I know that my brain needs to be at absolute full-throttle. Like today. Today's one of those days that absolutely requires all of my skillz to pay my billz.

Holy shit, even my fingers hurt. The joints. Rheumetism? Anal leakage? Hmmm.

I'm not enjoying this. But I did enjoy Kevin Smith's 'Daredevil' run. Seemed a bit too wordy at first, but after reading it through I thought it was pretty damn kick-ass. It has creamy goodness. If things don't work out in my brain today I'll be lost in the world of 'Dogwitch' for about an hour, looking in all the wrong places for the inspiration to write a promo-campaign directed at old people with brittle bones, convincing them that milk is the way to go.

Just read the first three issues in the book: so far there's suggested necrophilia (but the corpses are re-animated, so should it be called zombie-philia?), bunny love, mutilation, beheading and a house that bleeds once a month. I think I'm going to enjoy this.

6.1.05 04:10

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Not A Pleasant Start...

...not a pleasant start at all.

So the tsunami was a tragedy on a grand scale throughout this part of the globe. Many, many, many people died and many, many, many others were left homeless and possesionless. If that's even a word. You would think that with such a tragedy to begin the new year (or end the old one, from another perspective) that localized, personal problems would not take such great effect, right?

Riiight.

Things don't look good in the office. Twice have we been fucked over and to say that it was client or servicing's fault was not an option because it wasn't true, in all fairness. Why these things happen just before a review, I'll never know. Couple that with mind-numbing migraine-style headaches and a dicky tummy and you've got yourself a recipe for cloudy skies and Radiohead on the playlist.

I went to the doctors this morning and she gave me little grey pills and told me to eat lots of fiber. I then came to work to find the shit-storm that erupted. Looks like I'll be working over the weekend which is part and parcel of the job, but still. I was going to spend the Saturday looking at mikes and cables and mixers at CK music and Jalan Pasar.

This has not been a pleasant start to 2005. One can only hope it gets better. Last year began with very little fanfare for me, simply a chilled out night with Rauf getting wasted in an Irish pub. This year's looking decidedly dodgy. I wonder what the God's have in store.

Speaking of Rauf, he's on the cover of Vida. Check it out. He's all decked out in designer clothes n' shit. Yeah.

7.1.05 07:05

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Free Posers!

Yes, that's right. Just got an e-mail from Rahul of One Buck Short, who also works at Panglobal under the whole MusicCanteen thing, and it looks like Triple 6 Poser will be the free download from the New Straits Times the whole of next week, from Monday till Saturday. Not sure how it works. I guess you get a free code with the New Straits Times and use it to download.

So all you fuckers have no more excuses. Unless you're in England. Or Canada. Or America. Or Singapore. Or Africa.

7.1.05 08:49

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Brains... Brains...

The pills aren't working. Seriously. My head feels like a Finnegan's pub on St. Patrick's Day after Ireland wins the World Cup.

I'm supposed to be writing right now but my brain just won't start. Not the way I want it to. I want to be in the zone, where I'll look at the tiniest fucking word and question it's relevance in the entire piece.

Right now I couldn't really give a rats ass. I wonder if there's anything new on apple trailers?

7.1.05 13:13

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